This rule is not intended to prevent discussion, nor is it intended to allow Tone Policing. Differing opinions, cultural practices, mistakes and accidents can all kick start uncomfortable conversations which are within the Terms and Rules.
(This applies to content of all types, including but not limited to: Threads, Private Messages, Articles, Resources and Media, and any comments made on content posted by others.)
"But most of us nowadays use double down to indicate stubbornly clinging to a notion in the face of evidence to the contrary. And while the doubling-downer feels smug and confident, to the observer, it often looks like an obvious hot-air pivot by someone too insecure to consider that they might be wrong. While we should expect politicians to do it (after all, their livelihood depends on appearing to have the answers), anyone is capable of doubling down — journalists, partners, friends, scientists and colleagues." -- The Psychology of Doubling Down
While this sometimes doesn't matter (an opinion that red is better than blue), there are times where it can be wildly hurtful, particularly when speaking to a marginalized person and disputing their lived experiences. If you're discussing a topic that is at all sensitive for anyone, and your opinion is being rebuffed by facts - even if you dispute their accuracy - please take a moment to examine your opinions and why you're feeling compelled to argue.
If you're unable to reconcile your feelings with the statements of the person you're debating, your best course of action may be to simply say that: "I am struggling to reconcile my beliefs and your experiences. I need to take some time to examine this information. Thank you for discussing it candidly with me." At that point, it's important to step away, give yourself some time to decompress, and then re-examine the information later. You may want to do some additional research. Please remember that marginalized persons do not owe you additional education, although some may be willing to provide more information if you are genuine in your intentions to learn. Please be appreciative of their efforts, respectful of their time, and considerate in your word choices if and when the conversation resumes.
For more information on effective apologies and written communication, check out these links and resources:
Although this is a closed forum, there are no requirements to join. Assume that anyone could read what you post at any time.
Please remember that the Internet is forever: do not post detailed personal information about yourself/significant other(s)/children/family/friends, including medical conditions or psychiatric diagnoses without their express consent. It is likely that the anonymity of a closed forum will not be sufficient to protect their privacy, and what you post here could become visible to others.
Violating the personal privacy of others is against the Terms and Rules of TheBabywearer.
Any and all content that references or implies abusive behavior, intentional or not, must be behind an appropriately labeled Spoiler Warning, to ensure that it does not traumatize or re-traumatize other users. Please understand that different people have different thresholds for what behavior, especially with respect to appropriate discipline of children, constitutes abuse. For an overview of what is commonly considered abusive behaviors, please see the following links:
Per the Terms and Rules, the decision on allowable content will be made as necessary by the moderation team, administrators and Volunteer Board of TBW, and any such decisions will be final.